uploaded a couple of new/old pictures up my flickr account, click here

oh anyway, zuckerfest!! hahaha

exams suxxxxxxxxxx

Always up or down, never down and out

skins, the broken family band it's all over

woah i'm probably going to die this time round cause mob and econs next (fxcking) week and i swear.. i swear i'm not ready for them. it's not like i haven't been doing my revisions. i've covered the whole of econs, yes. but applying the theoretical aspect of econs into the case studies are seriously a pain in the ass. i.am.scared.to.death

anyway, haven't had enough sleep for one reason or another. i want to get over and done with promos cause it's killing me. and everyone esle (i guess). i should stop wasting time doing shit that won't benefit me at all. i have all the time after promos. two weeks, two weeks.

on a different note, it sucks to be there for someone, without fail, but they second guess being there for you when you need it most. and when the going gets tough, they second guess, and question,  when all you need is to know that they are on your side hundred percent. oh god, is there anything i could do to turn things around. 

don't we all just wanna feel alive? 

i'll be honest with you, i can't think of the right words that will leave a lasting impression on you. 

and truthfully i don't even know why i try so hard, oh i've given up

wishful thinking

never giving, always taking. you.

i just woke up from a short nap and within that 15 minutes i actually dreamt that

the bus driver kept my ezlink since there was an error while tapping in

and without proper transition whatsoever i dreamt that

i was on webcam with S (ha ha)

this serves as a reminder on how fxcked up my ezlink card is and how it's begging for me to change the picture and get a new card. and also made me realise that it's been around two weeks since i last talked to you, fierce girl.

yes, again

peeling off the skin on my nose, tv, sleep, checked my phone gazillion times, pretending to eat some of the medicines, knowing that some people don't give a fxck at all. repeat?

note to self: stop making assumptions

burn it downnn

school's been quite okay, things are getting better. but everyone's falling sick. i'm sick. thinking of skipping school tomorrow to study at the airport or something but.. i've been looking forward for wednesday actually. ok i had dinner the moment i got back from school just now and then took a shower followed by a fxcking long nap so i probably can't sleep early tonight dammit.

oh i just remember that i actually have GP consultation tomorrow and art consultation on friday, what the hell. ok bye someday you will be loved! oh haircut.

hahahahahahaha asyraf i can't believe you fell for it

if you find yourself here

cause it's been more than a week and life's been boring because.. because, well i know you know we both know. exam pressure's kicking in. no seriously.

Contrary to everything I believe in, it is not easy to love someone from a distance, especially when that distance is so overwhelming it.. breaks my heart :/

ive got a hunger

twisting my stomach into knots

life's been, blah. i've started on my revisions and that's pretty much it. school's still a bitch, and it'll always be. like how i fell asleep in the mrt and missed my station only to find myself at some, foreign land called punggol. i took the lrt there thinking it'll bring me back home, but i ended up at the same place. this is what education in singapore does to people.

hi what are you up to

i'm thinking about.. 

the very nature of thought itself

The Tracey Fragments

 When things happen to people, they radiate a light. Because they have a picture caught inside them. Because they were there and you weren't. And because you only got a piece. And because all you can do is shrink and blow up that one tiny piece

You'd rather be loved for someone that you're not, Than hated for who you really are?
hopefully one day you'll find yourself

SARAH KANE

And I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes and tell you I like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and massage your neck and kiss your feet and hold your hand and go for a meal and not mind when you eat my food. and talk about the day and type your letters and carry your boxes and laugh at your paranoia and give you tapes you don't listen to and watch great films and watch terrible films and complain about the radio and take pictures of you when you're sleeping and get up to fetch you coffee and bagels and Danish and go to Florent and drink coffee at midnight and have you steal my cigarettes and never be able to find a match and tell you about the the programme I saw the night before and take you to the eye hospital and not laugh at your jokes

and want you in the morning but let you sleep for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your.. and worry when you're late and be amazed when you're early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance till I'm black and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when you're angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and your face oriental and tell you you're gorgeous and hug you when you're anxious and hold you when you hurt

and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and whimper when I'm not and smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don't and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand why you think I'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I'd ever reject you and wonder who you are but accept you anyway and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you and write poems for you and wonder why you don't believe me and have a feeling so deep I can't find words for it and want to buy you a kitten I'd get jealous of because it would get more attention than me and keep you in bed when you have to go and cry like a baby when you finally do and get rid of the roaches and buy you presents you don't want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you

and wander the city thinking it's empty without you and want want you want and think I'm losing myself but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less and answer your questions when I'd rather not and tell you the truth when I really dont' want to and try to be honest because I know you prefer it and think it's all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it's a beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning

and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you

ENVY

covered part of econs and mob today.
contemplating.
but am happy that s called me today,
hahaha hi fierce girl.

make use of this one week term break people, make full use of it

title & registration

ignore the annoying guy

was walking around and i suddenly heard title & registration playing somewhere. i miss every single damn thing about death cab for cutie mannnnnnnn. oh i'm giving camera obscura a miss. anyway, art workshop with salleh jaffar today and it wasn't that bad cause it's kinda interesting to see an artist in person talking about his life and his artworks and his inspiration and stuffs like that. but i was the only h1 art student there so i was a loner and i felt weird. i'm not going to the workshop tomorrow cause i'd rather stay at home and complete my expert sharing slides ughhhhh.