Such a paradox

Tomorrow's monday, and we have A maths. What a good way to start a week. The weekend isnt that bad afterall. Out on saturday, stayed home the whole of today. I didnt study as planned this weekend, i know im digging my own grave. But i thought the wider/deeper the cosier, haha bad joke. Okay fine i shall study on monday, i swear :-)

I'm sick, but i'm trying my best to pretend that I'm okay. I feel very uncomfortable though. With the leaking nose and headache. Maybe I slept too much today, which led to the headache. Which is always the case. I cant sleep too long. I envy those who can sleep like, 10 hours plus plus. I just, cant.

Anyway I just cut the back part of my hair cause it's already touching the collar and I dont want the school to fucking cut it into a 3 cm slope or something. I feel uncomfortable enough with a 2 cm fringe? They say there'll be a hair check either tomor or anytime this week so I better be safe than sorry.

and I want a new hoodie, the lightning bolt one, and I'm getting my polaroid/holga/fisheye and maybe popcam soon. I need ka-ching!

okay, peace out.

"The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you cant have them." oh f

Oh Come On, Can You Honestly Tell Me That You Don't Think Those Trees Look Like Artichokes?

I'm beginning to feel more like myself now and it's a good thing. I'm feeling very happy now for no reason :-) and I can study. haha. So, who cares about those remarks made about me. I'll just leave them alone. Exams are coming, for most of us. Study hard, rest well. All the best to everyone :-)

i think you are a wonderful person. you are unique and very important to me :-) hahaha

Whenever you play those forty fives, something comes alive

This week isnt good. I feel terrible. Super terrible :-/

Patience, both we and our words are over produced by influence

i did the Paul Goldins Colourgenics test. got it from Leen's lj. the following is the result.

''You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an environment where you would be able to forge a close bond with a person who can offer full emotional fulfilment.

You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that 'By hook or by crook' you will, by fair means or foul, endeavour to get what you are looking for.

You wear your heart on your sleeve and since you are an emotional person you are apt to give your all - heart and soul - to all those that show you a little affection; but take care - it would appear that you have been extremely hurt in the past and you keep leaving yourself wide open for punishment.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

Whatever you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong and you are now quite convinced that there is little point of formulating new objectives and it is this belief that has resulted in the stress and anxiety. You would like to be able to communicate with other people who think as you do. At this time there seems to be no-one on the horizon nor is there any prospect of meeting anyone in the immediate future. But it must be said that you are really a 'trier' and indications are that you will, as indeed you have in the past, 'bounce back'.''

true.

Do the D.A.N.C.E

i cant wait for my Justice album.

So you're of the upper class now?

facebook

Now lets talk about my O level prelims shall we? Ha-ha. The papers were easier than I expected. not that I’ll get As for every subject but at least I think I did better than mid years which is totally appalling, atrocious and horrifying. Since prelims just ended I decided to spend around uhm, two days to rest. No, make it three because I'm going out tomorrow.

I feel relieved that prelims are over. Prelims is pressurizing enough. I bet the real Os is gonna be like, hundred times worse than that. Anyway, I can’t wait for prom night. heh :-) 30 minutes for us :-) and you fucker number 2, don’t think too much. Just go for prom! I need my other half or I won’t feel complete. And then I’ll feel uhm, sad. Ha-ha. Go okay?

I've been listening to a whole lot of shit on my iPod these few days. My 30GB iPod is full. I still remember saying that those who bought the 60Gb and 80Gb ones are crazy because they won’t be able to fill the whole iPod up anyway. come to think about it again, I think I need an 80gb iPod. someone buy me the new iPod classic? hahaha :-) the iPod touch isn’t worth buying in my opinion. although it looks cool, and it is cool, it's still not value for money. Even iPod nano now plays video, but with a smaller screen than iPod classic of course. whatever it is, I need a new iPod with bigger memory space, ha-ha :D

oh, I’ve finally created a facebook account after so long cause I was too lazy to fill in the shit(s) but since I don’t have anything to do now and I’m hungry but I’m not allowed to eat I decided to spend some time on facebook and I think facebook is damn addictive but I need more friends so, sign up please? hahahha.

till then, take care.

what i really learned in study hall

Today's the last day of prelims, for me that is. Good luck and all the best to all of you retaking malay/chinese/tamil and biology. Last night was fucked but i got over it quickly. I wonder how i managed to do that but maybe its because it's kinda useless to dwell over such things. I feel sick now so i shall post a longer entry tomorrow or something since i don't have school tomorrow, and thursday. I swear i need more sleep.

I dont like handphones. Handphones are monsters. Im not going to check my phone as often. So i'm sorry for the late replies, or not reply at all. and if i do reply it'll be short, useless ones. I apologize for that. Anything just call my home number. or email. or leave a message on msn. or friendster. or myspace. Thanks.

A letter from Janelle

Such a paradox,
Isn't it, isn't it?

With age come the inner, the higher life. Who would be forever young, to dwell always in externals?

I browsed through the folders, and I saw a couple of pictures taken during the first half of the year. Those days, I was happy. What happened, you ask. Honestly, I don’t know. No, I didn’t break up with some girl and end up posting this, emotional entry. And those photos in my folders are of me, and a few close friends.

Maybe it's the big Os that's causing me to feel like this. I'm exhausted, mentally exhausted. No, it's not the studying that's making me tired. I was on the verge of giving up. Until, this special someone came into my life. And encouraged me to keep on going and have faith. Yes, faith. Even simple words can leave a great impact on one's life. Thanks :-) Being sixteen isn’t as fun as i thought it would be (when I was fifteen).

Well, some teachers in school aren’t so nice either. the body language they portray whenever they walk pass me, or when I approach them for help is very, for lack of a better of a more insulting/filthy word, fucked up.

Yes I know I’m not the best student in class. I know for the past one and half year I didn’t show any interest in your lessons. But come on, I know what i did was wrong. I'm sorry. Hah, favoritism.

If the teachers think that I’m just a typical secondary four student who showed no sign of interest at all since the start and then starts panicking since the exams are near and they aren’t willing to help then, I have nothing else to say. I'll show them that I can do it on my own, without their help and go into the course of my choice. I'm going to laugh right in your faces on that day when I get my results.

On a much lighter note, I have to thank all those who've never gave up on me. You guys are very much appreciated; thank you :-) to teachers who weren’t anal, thanks a lot ;-) to those who gave up on me and said that i was hopeless, incorrigible, thanks to all of you also. Ha-ha!

sorry for the filthy language, i just cant help it. and that picture doesnt belong to me, credits to deviantart.